Boss Mo

An Unreconstructed Southron White Male Seeks Employment at SPLC


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To: jfloyd@airnet.net
From: Jim Floyd (jfloyd@airnet.net)
Subject: Boss Mo


Center seeks civil rights attorney

The Southern Poverty Law Center seeks an attorney
with substantial civil rights law experience and the
talent and determination to develop new cases. Some
exposure to education and/or health care law is a
plus. Salary is competitive with that of the U.S.
Department of Justice. Excellent benefits. Send
resume, two writing samples and three references to
Legal Department Employment Coordinator, Southern
Poverty Law Center, P. O. Box 2087, Montgomery,
Alabama 36102-2087.

------------------------------------------------------

                  Application for Employment

To Mark Potok and Boss Mo
     Fax- 334-262-2419

Sirs, I am James Floyd from Cullman, Alabama and I
am immeasurably excited, agog even, in anticipation
of working and playing with you wonderful people at
the Southern Poverty Law Center.

As we progress through this resume you will surely
understand that I have, indeed, laboriously acquired  
detailed knowledge of Boss Mo and his organization.
I have devoted much time and exerted the effort
necessary to sniff-out the very essence of Mo and
the SPLC.

The moral direction of this nation may well depend on
you hiring me with complete authority to reinstitute
the practises of its founders. Tolerance, sensitivity,
and lots of love, tons of love, have built this bulwark,
this bastion of enlightenment for the world on a
brand new, high moral road and it screams for a
return to those glorious days.    
    
While I am innocent of any affiliation with the legal
community, nevertheless, I have attained a high level
of competency in the law by studying Mr. Dees's
court records on file at the Department of Archives
and History, in Montgomery. Ref: case no. CIV. 2114 


                   The thrill is gone!

Today's aging SPLC and Mr. Dees are a far cry from
the adventurous and socially innovative group that
we came to know and love just a few years ago.
Return with me now to those daring days of
yesteryear when everyday at the Southern Poverty
Law Center was filled with living, energetic examples
of how love - unrestricted, free-flowing, boundless
love could  reshape America into the likeness of its
creator, Morris S. Dees.

           Unforgettable lessons from the past

If hired, I will, immediately, renew the skinny-dipping-
lunch-hour. Yes! We will, once again, all go down to
the river, get naked, drink a lots of beer, smoke a
little pot and show the corporate world how
'togetherness' can give a whole new meaning to
work-time. Ref. Cert. Papers pg. 25, 295 

And in the field of race relations, Boss Dees was
never one to  give only lip and tongue service to the
up-lifting of recognizable minorities. No, sir! Mo,
always, put his very body and soul in his noble  work.
Here's a man who laid awake at night planning,
scheming even, trying to find a way to share himself,
unselfishly, with a young Black girl. Ref. C.P. pg. 459

And who could forget Mo's hands-on approach to
the acceptance of homosexuals? How many
employees at the SPLC, today, would have the
courage to give a naked Charlie Springman a place in
bed beside themselves and their mates? Well, Mo did
it and he didn't just lay there either! Mrs. Mo
described this loving, caring scene;

          "Uh, we where like pretzels, uh, you 
           know, all wrapped around each other.
          You know, arms and legs all over...
          And Morris kissed him, you know,
          down there... uh yea, his, uh, penis."

The old 'pretzel principle' of unity. A great America
searching for simple ways to bring us together, to
show love, sensitivity and tolerance. Ref. C.P. 24, 339
- 342

Your above advertisement mentions "exposure to
education," again, I must refer to the example of our
leader, Mo, and his tireless attempts to educate
Americas' youth, starting with his own stepdaughter,
Holly. If you hire me, we will put a vibrator-dildo in the
hands of all the nations' fathers who have sixteen
year old daughters. The same brand vibrator would
be a nice touch, with an accompanying instruction
manual written by Mr. Dees. Ref. C.P. 25,

Regarding health care, Mr. Dees's ideology serves as
another shinning example to us all. Here is a brave man 
who did not hesitate to pay to have his and his mistress's
baby aborted even at five and a half (6?) months.    

This, of course, leads us to the subject of family
values and how we treat our women. We,
desperately, need to reprint and distribute the many
contractual agreements which Mo contrived for his
wife. Of course, the hate-mongers called it "wife-
swapping" but we know it was, yet another, giant
step by a giant-of-a-man to  give his woman equal
sexual freedom. Ref. Exhibit 30 

He even committed himself, totally, to his future
daughter-in-law. Yes, down by the pool, on the night
before her wedding, Morris welcomed her to the
family in his own special way! What a man! What a
family!

Now, we don't want to give people the wrong idea of
Mo. He was never a panty-waist little weakling. He
was quite capable of wheeling an iron fist when the
occasion called for muscle. 

Who will ever forget that night, in Washington, when
his wife and Mr. O'Daughert (National Endowment)
where confounded, at a very delicate moment, by
Morris and his Private Investigator? From their hiding
place in the shower, Mo leaped forward, with fist
flying as fast as his camera lens, he shattered her jaw
and her chances of looting the coffers of the SPLC.
Ref. C.P. pg.13

Some may have problems with Mo's fierce
determination to protect the assets of the SPLC, well, 
such people have no place in the SPLC. We need
hard working adherents of the 'tough-love' policies of
Mr. Dees. Faint-hearted employees opening mail from
Black welfare grandmothers must not think about the
consequences of taking money from their meager
incomes. Hungry Black kids with gnarling gut pains
you have with you always. 

Mo, unfortunately, will soon retire to his vast ranch
and idle away his days floating down the Coosa, a
river of memories. He will, no doubt, stop at the
sandbar where he had intercourse with Miss Debra
Levy while kissing his wife. Ref. C.P. 308

Enough! We are living in a world built by great men
like Morris S. Dees and I want to be a part of its
future development. I want to mount a white horse
along side our champion, our guardian of the high
moral road, our social conscience, our pious warrior,
and fight those wacko, right-wing, White European/
American Christians, and other damnable dissidents.

So, as you can see, if you hire me you will, also, get
an in-house historian. Plus, I am willing to go to the
police officers and educators of this nation and tell
them about little Morris. No extra charge. Justice
Department money (as we have long suspected) is
fine.

Character references; Mr. Louis Beam, David Duke
and B. Stocking, San Jose Mercury News.

                                             James Floyd
                                             185 Co. RD. 254
                                             Cullman, Al. 35057
.

.

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